I think I’ve spent entirely too much time trying to figure out what I was going to write here.

I’ve been working on Goatland for well over a year now. There have already been multiple versions of the site, different layouts, different articles, different ideas. Every time I got close, I’d convince myself it wasn’t quite right and start over.

At some point you just have to stop preparing and start doing.

So here we are.

I figured I’d start with one of the biggest struggles in my own life.

Balance.

I’ve never been good at it.

When I find a project that excites me, I disappear into it. I’ll sit at my desk for hours telling myself I’m almost finished with one more thing. Then one more thing turns into five more things, and before I know it I’ve been sitting there half the day wondering why my back hurts and my brain feels fried.

I’m still teaching myself to simply get up every hour and walk around for a few minutes.

The same thing happens with working out.

I’ll start feeling really good. Stronger. Faster. More motivated.

So naturally… I push harder.

Then I overdo it, tweak something, and spend the next two weeks wondering why I never seem to learn my lesson.

Even dieting has been a struggle with balance.

I’ll be incredibly disciplined all week. Then cheat day comes around and I treat it like an eating competition. The next day I feel terrible, mentally and physically, and suddenly I’m trying to convince myself to get back on track instead of just enjoying more junk food and moving on with my life.

Moderation has never been my strong suit.

It’s not just physical things either.

I’ve struggled with balance emotionally.

Anyone who has known me long enough would probably tell you I have a short temper. They’re not wrong.

It’s something I’ve worked on for years and something I still work on today.

Bill Burr has one of my favorite bits where he’s talking about losing his mind while putting together a table. If you haven’t seen it, it’s worth a watch:

“You think I want this guy? You think I wanna be the guy that flips out about the fucking table? I don’t.”

That line always makes me laugh because I completely understand it.

Nobody wants to be that person.

But he also makes another point that’s always stuck with me.

Losing your mind is sometimes part of building something.

The trick is deciding where the line is.

Grumbling because the instructions don’t make sense?

Probably normal.

Picking the table up and snapping it in half?

Maybe we’ve gone a little too far.

That’s balance.

I think this is why Taoism has always resonated with me.

If you know me at all, you know I’m not a religious person. But I’ve always found myself drawn toward Eastern philosophy, especially Taoism.

It all started with one book.

My aunt gave it to me back when I was an early teen. I don’t know if she realized how much that little gift would shape the way I looked at the world, but it did.

That book eventually led me toward Taoism.

Which led me to Buddhism.

And eventually Stoicism.

And the more I read, the more I noticed something interesting.

These philosophies, and honestly a lot of religions as well, keep circling back to many of the same ideas.

Taoism talks about balance through yin and yang. Not good versus evil, but complementary forces. Light and dark. Strength and softness. Joy and sadness. Neither one makes much sense without the other.

Buddhism teaches the Middle Way. Don’t live a life of complete indulgence, but don’t spend your life punishing yourself either. Both extremes miss the point.

Stoicism asks us not to be controlled by pleasure or pain. Bad things are going to happen. Good things are going to happen. Neither should completely dictate who we are.

Even outside those philosophies, I started noticing similar themes.

Christianity talks about self-control, humility, compassion, and loving your neighbor.

Islam places a strong emphasis on moderation and avoiding excess.

Hinduism teaches equanimity, remaining steady whether life brings success or failure.

The details are obviously different, and I’m not trying to pretend they’re all teaching the exact same thing. We’ll do a deeper dive on this topic later on. For now we’re just scratching the surface.

It’s always fascinated me that so many different traditions, separated by time and geography, keep returning to similar ideas.

That says something about who we are as humans. We’re far more alike than we sometimes think.

The older I get, the more I think balance isn’t something you achieve once and then move on.

It’s something you practice.

Sometimes you get it right.

Sometimes you don’t.

There are going to be days where I spend too many hours working on a project.

Days where I push too hard in the gym.

Days where I lose my temper.

Days where I eat way more than I should.

I’m not writing this because I think I’ve figured balance out.

I’m writing it because I haven’t.

It’s still something I struggle with.

Probably always will.

But as long as I’m moving in the right direction, that’s enough for me.

Maybe that’s all balance really is.

Maybe that’s all life really is.

Finding that balance in the middle to navigate this thing called life.

Not perfection, but keeping from tumbling over too far to one side.